I don't fit in...or do I?

Since starting up with this writing again I've been saving a bunch of things that I want to share on here. It is SO hard to organize my thoughts. I really have so many funny stories to share. I also have real time talk stories and some not so fun stories that I want to put up on here. I don't fully anticipate an audience, but I've already received some feedback from the select few people that caught my link in my post a few days ago. I have to admit I was a little nervous sharing, but I think I'm going full speed ahead to see what kind of traction I get! You're lucky, I'm super bored with my shows & my husband has been begging me to find a hobby. Maybe this is it.

Let's talk about this photo. I started writing again because I have so much I want to say, but feel like I have no one to say it to...not like when I lived in Germany. You know it's true what they say about a military lifestyle- it's lonely. I mean don't get me wrong I've made the best friends in the world thanks to Mike's time in the Army, but the connections I have from that experience are far stronger and become way more intense than anything I've experienced. I think it's because we all are lonely, have left home, are out of our comfort zones. We're desperate for human connection so we dive in like we will never see them again. It's a huge risk. I've literally had so many weird friendship fallouts in the past 7 years. For example, I literally met a couple from the mid-west that were NAZI'S. Yes, I said it, Nazi's. Well I don't think it's PC anymore to use that term but they literally told me how great Hitler's ideals were and how perfect the world would be behind a ruler like that. HOW TERRIFYING! It sucked because I really liked the female and you could tell that she was actively trying to have a different mindset but they were raised that way. I mean c'mon- it was 2016!

So I have friend problems, ok? Who doesn't? A 20 something mom who has moved 3 times in the last 6 years naturally has distance between childhood friendships, adult friendships and family! Once we moved to Maryland I didn't have the Army to introduce me to other adult friends and Mike's job is proving to be weird when it comes to socializing... so I did what any sane person would do and joined a  MOMS club. Our realtor recommended it (Shoutout to Nikki Aguilera!!) It's not what you're thinking- at least not yet anyways. It literally stands for Moms Offering Moms Support and it's an international organization.

You can find your local chapter here- https://momsclub.org/

I was nervous, but I'm too social to sit back and not try this. I'm so happy I did! They truly do keep us occupied at least once weekly. It was funny though, my long distance friends made comments about my first ever mom's meetup!

"DO NOT FUCK THIS UP!"
"Don't mess this up, it will be bad!"

I'm over here like- how do I mess this up? "Ok, for all of your sakes, I will not mess this up!"
The first meetup was at a park and was way too easy. Just let the kids play! -NOT! They were shocked that I found them so quickly after never hearing of them before and my immediate response was "I was really bored so..."

The looks on their faces told me I may have fucked it up, but my bubbly ass continued on with conversation, or what was left of it.

The second meetup was a Valentine's Day craft at someone's house. There were instructions that it was a PJ party and that we could bring 'Mom's favorite things' and exchange them as our little Valentine's Day gifts to one another. Even Mike asked me if I was going to bring wine because, well, that's me! I sent him off to the store for mini bottles and I threw in the cheesy Valentine's day hot chocolate for the nonbelievers. I went in with the mindset either they're going to love me or be offended that I brought them wine at 10 AM on a Thursday...

They
LOVED
It!!!

I even told them the story- "...either this wine is going to make it or break it with you guys, but I'm diving in because THIS IS ME!"

Fast forward to Mom's night in and I showed some of my sarcasm. I think it was well received but I really don't have a funny story for that evening. I really enjoyed the evening with the ladies.

More recently I went to a baby playgroup and not only did Cambria want to eat the entire two hours we were there, but there was another baby who wanted to play with my socks. It so happened that we ran out of laundry detergent a few days prior and we were STILL recovering from Marilyn's three days of vomit laundry, so I really had limited clothing to wear. I decided I could wear my 'Merry Fucking Christmas' socks to this baby playgroup because they wouldn't be seen by anyone, they were under my pants. Well APPARENTLY this cute baby loves to play with socks and feet! Her mother kindly warned me and without hesitation my response was

"That's fine with me as long as you're okay with her (your 8 month old daughter) seeing my inappropriate socks. They literally say Merry F'ing Christmas on them. It's laundry day."

To which I got awkward smiles and one or two 'hahas' in response. Awkward!

This incident alone was motivation enough to restart my blog. Why you ask? Because I feel like I have a million people that I could talk to but I have limited people that I want to talk to. This allows me to share these hilarious stories with someone other than Mike- who could also truly appreciate them.

I'm sure that plenty of other moms, adults, women, men, people feel the way that I do in their respected inner circles. You probably have felt like you don't fit in at one point or another. Well this is literally me. I feel like not only do I have the worst luck with new friends, but now I have the worst luck with social awkwardness and inappropriate cues. There was a time in my life where it was welcomed to be weird and sarcastic and now I just feel like I'm going to be a loner as long as I'm weird and sarcastic. I'm also at a point in my life where I can't change. Well, that's a lie, I'm in the business of change. I don't WANT to change those things about me. So now to just try and figure out where all of my Dr Seuss people are at- you know that weird person quote? (It's Mike's favorite and I don't quite remember)...

Wanted:
-One (or two) people (preferably female, but at this point will take any and all genders) currently looking to open their social circle
-Must be open to hanging out at home while my boobs are hanging out (a baby's gotta eat)
-Kids or not, I don't have a preference
-Likes Wine or any alcohol in moderation (of course, I have to wake up in the morning!)
-Interested in my life outside of being a mom. I have more than 1 identity...I want to share my birth story with you but THAT IS IT!
-Willing to go on girl dates with me to the store, Starbucks, or the occasional yoga class, wine tasting, whatever
-Open to sarcasm, funny jokes, and wise cracks
-Is willing to get real, open up, be honest, be loyal, be a true friend*

*No, this is no reflection of my lifelong friendships. Just something I give to people and something I expect in return.

So in all seriousness, I don't think I've found the key to adult, mom friendships. I also don't think I've found my 'niche' in Maryland but I've gone out of my way to try. I think I will get there and in time start to build more lifelong friends that are within driving distance because I sure as hell have some amazing friends all over the world. If someone has discovered the secret, I'm all ears! Until next time.