MH Chronicles: Addiction
Hey guys!
It's been a couple weeks. I think Marilyn is going through a leap or two so I've been unable to do pretty much anything on my own, to include weekends. I think this is the first evening I've been able to set her down! I did not want to go months without posting though, so I'm glad I am here now. I also haven't had much inspiration to write. I've been doing a lot of work on the new business adventure, which has been keeping me busy most of the time. (BTW I have a 10 man team since we last talked WHAAAT) Ok- moving on! I am going to start writing about what I'm actually a (somewhat) expert in- MENTAL HEALTH! Duh, why didn't I try this before? I get so excited about it. I'm going to call it the MH Chronicles, so people who don't want to open their brains can keep scrolling.
I've been discovering some new (to me) music recently and Mike opened my eyes to Asking Alexandria's new stuff. Now, I was introduced to this band years ago and absolutely fell in love. Their show was actually one of the first and only shows that I crowd surfed at (say whaaaat?). But they wrote about some pretty rough stuff. I literally have a shirt that says in all caps 'You stupid fucking whore'. Nottttt exactly what I found myself wearing around the Army base, let me tell you! But guess what? Their lead singer, Danny Worsnop, WENT TO REHAB, and came back a whole new man. I am not even kidding. I'm sure he struggles A LOT with his monsters, but his music speaks volumes in the changes he has made in his life.
We found an article that gave us some good insight. Here are a few highlights:
I've been away, a little while, sometimes I just can't help myself
When my mind’s running wild, I seem to lose grip on reality
And I try to disregard the crazy things the voices tell me to do, but it's no use
I tried to own it, write songs about it
Believe me I tried, in the end I needed to breathe
Find inspiration, some kind of purpose
To take a second to face the shit that makes me, me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I saw the world a couple times, tried to cure the ache with absence
But that hole was still a hole and my mind kept playing tricks on me
Feeling older every day, took everything I had to not crash and burn
But I'm starting to learn
Sometimes I'll fall down, sometimes I'll lose hope
But those days will be few if I keep my feet on the ground
I might be lonely, but I ain't alone here
So I keep pushing the limits of what makes me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I can be better than I was
I can be better than I am
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
Something I've always focused on while doing research, therapy, treatment, what have you is the infamous question of choice versus disease. I think it's one of those arguments that does not have a correct answer. There isn't an answer because there is so much research to support both sides. What are the odds that three people, could be all related could be all strangers, go to a party and try the exact same drug, the same way. Two of them walk away- no addiction, but one is addicted the rest of their lives. How do we explain that?
So we know that psychoactive drugs were used in ancient times. We know that Native American tribes evolved into sobriety circles and alcoholic mutual aid societies, as well as natural healing methods to treat alcoholism (Talcherkar, 2018). In the 18th century, Benjamin Rush identified that alcoholism was a disease and should be treated. At that point, it seemed like the rest of the world followed suit. Famous psychology icon such as Sigmund Freud even suggested that alcoholism can be treated with cocaine, which prompted other physicians to follow suit...Now we know that was a crock of shit!
According to NIDA, the initial use of substances is voluntary but the continued use of the substance can mostly be considered involuntary. Drugs tap into the way that the brain sends, receives and understands messages sent through neurons. They fool the neurons into thinking they are real neurotransmitters that create abnormal messages into the brain messaging system. Drugs trigger dopamine; a neurotransmitter that regulates movement, emotion, motivation and pleasure. This is the positive reinforcement that encourages the continuance of drug use. As the person continues to use the drug, the brain releases less and less dopamine, a reaction that the NIDA compares to ‘turning down the volume’. The person becomes less interested and emotional about things that used to bring them joy and excitement, and therefore continue the drug use because of the high levels of dopamine that the brain would produce.
So when do we quite arguing over choice and disease and start arguing over the healing process? How do we get someone out of the literal physiological cycle that is addiction?
A topic for another time?
It's been a couple weeks. I think Marilyn is going through a leap or two so I've been unable to do pretty much anything on my own, to include weekends. I think this is the first evening I've been able to set her down! I did not want to go months without posting though, so I'm glad I am here now. I also haven't had much inspiration to write. I've been doing a lot of work on the new business adventure, which has been keeping me busy most of the time. (BTW I have a 10 man team since we last talked WHAAAT) Ok- moving on! I am going to start writing about what I'm actually a (somewhat) expert in- MENTAL HEALTH! Duh, why didn't I try this before? I get so excited about it. I'm going to call it the MH Chronicles, so people who don't want to open their brains can keep scrolling.
I've been discovering some new (to me) music recently and Mike opened my eyes to Asking Alexandria's new stuff. Now, I was introduced to this band years ago and absolutely fell in love. Their show was actually one of the first and only shows that I crowd surfed at (say whaaaat?). But they wrote about some pretty rough stuff. I literally have a shirt that says in all caps 'You stupid fucking whore'. Nottttt exactly what I found myself wearing around the Army base, let me tell you! But guess what? Their lead singer, Danny Worsnop, WENT TO REHAB, and came back a whole new man. I am not even kidding. I'm sure he struggles A LOT with his monsters, but his music speaks volumes in the changes he has made in his life.
We found an article that gave us some good insight. Here are a few highlights:
Danny Worsnop, before rehab
"I would like to take you back. Where? The Grafton Hotel in Los Angeles, California. When? The winter of 2013 at around 4am. At that point, in that room, there was a young Danny Worsnop laid on a bed with his heart beating out of his chest, $1000 worth of cocaine running through his veins, and two bottles of whiskey in his stomach, shaking and trying to keep his eyes from rolling back into his skull. That night was, needless to say, terrifying."
**WARNING THIS IS AN INTENSE VIDEO FOR VANILLA PEOPLE LOL**
Danny is pretty open about his journey, in fact, most people recovering from addiction aren't an entirely closed book believe it or not! He ended up getting to Vegas after the first album was successful and hooked up with a stripper that was into the party scene. He found out 6 months after he hooked up with her that she was pregnant. Danny discovered that the baby had been stillborn due to the high amount of drug and alcohol use. It was not only heartbreaking for him, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. He was in an environment that wasn't conducive to any kind of sober living. His band mates were fighting constantly and he admits that as he was spiraling in a downward direction, people were watching and pay in to the intense headlines that he was attracting. In another article he talks about his life before all of this happened and how it really wasn't a great thing for him to be famous so young and essentially grow up in the rock and roll industry. He says he was a troubled person and as a teenager was getting into alcohol. By the time he joined Asking Alexandria he was an alcoholic and truthfully hadn't been sober for 3 years straight.
But we know this always happens with rock and roll, right? He thought so. He also said that the only thing he could do was remove himself from that environment, completely.
Danny Worsnop, post rehab
“It was entirely about removing myself from that toxic environment,” he explains. “At the time, the band was fighting permanently. And I’m not talking verbally – it was fist-fights every single day. And I was subconsciously trying to kill myself with the amounts of intoxicants I was putting into my body. I just had to get away from it. I was still getting fucked up at the time. I think I was high when I made the phone call. But it was the first step in the right direction.”
Rehab was not the only thing that helped him get sober. He admits it was a woman, a relationship, that truly encouraged him to make the change. Something to note here- a change of environment AND support system. It's amazing the transformation that can be made. I wanted to share lyrics and a video of one of his songs. It literally gives me goosebumps. The most interesting thing about music pertaining to an addiction struggle is that most of us can relate it to something that may not actually be an addiction. I don't say that to invalidate anyone who does struggle with it. I just say it as an eye opener. Any person can struggle with addiction and it can come in many forms, as the face of many demons. Check out Asking Alexandria's Acoustic version of 'Alone in a Room'
I've been away, a little while, sometimes I just can't help myself
When my mind’s running wild, I seem to lose grip on reality
And I try to disregard the crazy things the voices tell me to do, but it's no use
I tried to own it, write songs about it
Believe me I tried, in the end I needed to breathe
Find inspiration, some kind of purpose
To take a second to face the shit that makes me, me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I saw the world a couple times, tried to cure the ache with absence
But that hole was still a hole and my mind kept playing tricks on me
Feeling older every day, took everything I had to not crash and burn
But I'm starting to learn
Sometimes I'll fall down, sometimes I'll lose hope
But those days will be few if I keep my feet on the ground
I might be lonely, but I ain't alone here
So I keep pushing the limits of what makes me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I can be better than I was
I can be better than I am
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
Something I've always focused on while doing research, therapy, treatment, what have you is the infamous question of choice versus disease. I think it's one of those arguments that does not have a correct answer. There isn't an answer because there is so much research to support both sides. What are the odds that three people, could be all related could be all strangers, go to a party and try the exact same drug, the same way. Two of them walk away- no addiction, but one is addicted the rest of their lives. How do we explain that?
So we know that psychoactive drugs were used in ancient times. We know that Native American tribes evolved into sobriety circles and alcoholic mutual aid societies, as well as natural healing methods to treat alcoholism (Talcherkar, 2018). In the 18th century, Benjamin Rush identified that alcoholism was a disease and should be treated. At that point, it seemed like the rest of the world followed suit. Famous psychology icon such as Sigmund Freud even suggested that alcoholism can be treated with cocaine, which prompted other physicians to follow suit...Now we know that was a crock of shit!
According to NIDA, the initial use of substances is voluntary but the continued use of the substance can mostly be considered involuntary. Drugs tap into the way that the brain sends, receives and understands messages sent through neurons. They fool the neurons into thinking they are real neurotransmitters that create abnormal messages into the brain messaging system. Drugs trigger dopamine; a neurotransmitter that regulates movement, emotion, motivation and pleasure. This is the positive reinforcement that encourages the continuance of drug use. As the person continues to use the drug, the brain releases less and less dopamine, a reaction that the NIDA compares to ‘turning down the volume’. The person becomes less interested and emotional about things that used to bring them joy and excitement, and therefore continue the drug use because of the high levels of dopamine that the brain would produce.
So when do we quite arguing over choice and disease and start arguing over the healing process? How do we get someone out of the literal physiological cycle that is addiction?
A topic for another time?
National Institute of Drug Abuse. (2007) "Drugs, Brains, and Behavior: The Science of Addiction.” Retrieved from http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/drug-abuse-addiction
Talcherkar, A. (2018) Timeline: History of Addiction Treatment. Retrieved from: https://www.recovery.org/topics/history-of-addiction-treatment/
https://www.loudersound.com/features/the-wild-one-how-danny-worsnop-took-sex-drugs-and-rocknroll-to-the-limit
https://www.rocksound.tv/news/read/danny-worsnop-i-was-strung-out-high-hungover-and-drunk-all-at-once
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